The Unhappy Hooker 2/6/12
What began, innocently enough, as making my first recipe for
TWD quickly escalated to what resembled a TV sitcom, the likes of which would
rival an episode of I Love Lucy. The recipe, “White Loaves” found in Baking
With Julia was the culprit of this
fiasco. It was a basic white bread
recipe that called for six simple ingredients water, flour, butter, salt,
yeast, and sugar, things most home cooks, except possibly the yeast, have on
hand. I measured and assembled the ingredients along the counter like a TV
chef, proofed the yeast and sugar in warm water, and then the drama began. What I thought was the dough hook for
my Kitchen Aid mixer, no you cannot fit a square peg into a round hole, was a
dough hook for some other dearly departed or long forgotten kitchen appliance.
But, no problem, right? Folks have
been making bread without dough hooks and fancy appliances since the beginning
of time. Check out the Bible where
you’ll find bread, leavened and unleavened, mentioned numerous times; the last
time I looked, there was no mention of Kitchen Aid mixers or dough hooks in
there. How hard could it be to mix
the stuff by hand? After all, I’ve
been to the gym. True, that was
years ago. Yet and still, I have
seen the inside of a gym.
Incorporating the first three cups of flour into the liquid
was a synch. In the words of my
daughter, Dawn, “I’ve got this,” I thought. With each successive cup of flour, however, mixing
became more difficult.
Frustrated but undefeated, I dumped my unincorporated dough blob into
the mixer, covered the top with a kitchen towel and ever so gently turned it
on. Flour flew up through the
towel into my face, up my nose, and turned me prematurely gray. The counter top and the floor were
covered with, what meteorologists would refer to as, a mild dusting. The motor on the Kitchen Aid sighed in
protest at the prospect of mixing the unyielding dough. So it was back to the mixing bowl where
after ten minutes of stirring and mixing, my upper arms were nearly as sculpted
as First Lady Michelle Obama’s. After incorporating the butter into the dough
and ten full minutes of kneading, both the dough and I needed the requisite 45
minute to one hour rest.
Alas, however, to my utter astonishment, after two risings,
and a stint in the oven my two loaves turned out lovely. Golden brown on the outside, with a
tender crumb on the inside, my first two loaves of homemade bread turned out
rather well. Even though things
got a bit hairy, I learned a few things from this experience. First, there is an eight hundred
number, similar to the Thanksgiving Turkey Hot Line, posted directly on your
Kitchen Aid Mixer. I spoke to Kelly at Kitchen Aid, who informed me that for
$14.95 plus shipping and handlings she could ship me the dough hook that fits
my mixer. I agreed to the terms
since, I’ll need the dough hook for the next bread recipe. Another thing I learned is that this
recipe is practically foolproof.
Anyone with thumbs that can withstand a vigorous aerobic workout can
make this bread. And last but not least, baking bread isn’t actually that
bad.
Here’s a picture of my bread. There may be prettier loaves out there, but like any mother
of a newborn, I have yet to see another loaf as beautiful as my twins. You can tell from the picture they’re
fraternal. Peanut
butter and Jelly, is what I call them, others may call them Lunch or
Snack. For information about the
recipe go to TWD or better yet buy Baking With Julia and bake along with the group.
On a scale from one to ten, one being low and ten being
high, I give this recipe an eight. The bread is tasty, the recipe is easy to
follow, and I will definitely make this bread again. I prefer whole grain to white bread; otherwise this recipe
would be a ten.
PEACE
